Life is Good

Life is good, she whispered undeath her breath when she turned 30 years old. That had been very different from when she had turned 3 and whispered that life was unfair how the giant people ruled her every breath. But it wasn’t so different when she turned 5 and sang how lucky she was to have a daddy to make her realize that she ruled him. When you rule daddy nothing else mattered.

When she reached the age of 12 “unfair” escaped her lips, not unlike when she turned 23 and the same shades of unfairness colored her entire life. But 12 was more to do with boys and teenage rampages rather than the revenge of social systems and judicial corruption. At least it wasn’t as bad as when she turned 25 and the definition of pain slapped her across the face leaving welts that would last a lifetime. That real pain felt nothing like when she was 17 and witnessed her first heartbreak. Neither did it feel like when she was 24 and saw that something big and bad was coming, like a bad storm in the distance. No one could have seen that much hurt… Still, she felt it coming. It made her wish she had gone back to before the age of 1, deep, warm, and safe in the womb, protected by her mothers’ vibrations.

That pain made her think about when she was 17 and fell out of bad love and back into a perfect kind of love. The kind that was equal, the kind where she would have done anything for him, and by the look in his eyes she knew he would do anything for her. So unlike when she turned 29 and met someone who’s eyes were always chasing the eyes of someone else.

She dreamt about life the most when she was 27 years old. Love, dreams, accomplishments filled the hours in the night when other people slept. Not her. She dreamt of a life that would come, all she had to do was see it in her mind. It reminded her when she was 9 and her mother use to take her on tours around the world. Each country, each new culture opened a new door for the little young thang. Maybe that’s why she always looked so sad at the age of 10 because she realized no matter how much she grew in her mind, she was still that little young thing. But 21 brought more promise. She had developed like the first stages of bloom. Colorful with plenty of light and water, able to sway in the wind and catch the attention of others. Yet she wasn’t dreaming about those first stages into adulthood when she was 7 and had to sit at the kid’s dinner table while the giants discussed words that she had never in her existence spoken. 22 she finally decided it was time to start speaking those words.

She spoke and spoke and met new people. Each one so different and leaving a different impact on the soil of her future. It made her remember when she was 6 and watched her older cousins with awe and pain, wondering, ” When the hell am I going to be like that?” One day baby girl, one day. She hadn’t yet realized that if you wanted to be anything in life it was more than attitude and clothes, although at the age of 11 she would have disagreed with her hands on her hips and skateboard under her feet.  At that age, all you needed was the wind, attitude, and freedom. At 16 she was surrounded by people who made her feel ugly inside, exactly what she deserved for not listening to her parents. That was a combination of gasoline and fire. she woke in the morning and didn’t like who she had become. “What have I done with my life? Who have I helped?” Since the age of 13, she had only walked in the path of uselessness and mimicked All Bad. These things happen with the ages…

Thankfully she awoke one morning on her 28th birthday and felt power deep and steady in her mind, realizing that all she had to do to accomplish everything she ever wanted was that; DO. Since the age of 4, she had been used to hearing people and their talk. They didn’t know the secret of life and how easy it could be if you simply did. 

So after she woke up with this revelation a new type of belief set her life’s prospect at the pinnacle on the highest mountain. She stopped thinking about all the doubts she had when she was 12 and insecure. She erased all the pains of being misunderstood and simply saw what the miraculous word DO meant, and without a second to waste, she followed through.

Something that had been in her heart all along, but had always stumbled while trying to find the key.

On her 30th birthday, she was surrounded by everyone who loved and cared about her. It reminded her of her first birthday party, the same one that no one came too and disappointment was paramount. Her sadness on that day was a reflection of her happiness.  Intensity was real. Souls could be felt. In front of her was a cake crafted by her best friend. Besised her were people holding up their camera phones, capturing something that because of outside factors from the past, couldn’t quite be comprehended. Further to the side were others that believed in her because they felt the reverberations of her heart. Or maybe because she had touched their own heart.

She brought her hands up to her face as if in prayer and whispered gently so that no one could hear,

Life is good.

xoxox

Lindsay Reva

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