Traffic Goals

I looked down into my palms and imagined holding everything I ever loved gently within my fingertips. Lovers faces meshed with the smell of roses, warmth mingled with melted chocolate, laughing at no cost caught between the arms of my beloved ones, my goals, and aspirations clutched at the collar by my dreams. I held them, they fit; perfect like a puzzle, and I was not weighed down. They remained in my hands at my own disposal.

But what if one day, one by one the things I loved and adored dropped from my grasps like an ordinary object fallen… What if I couldn’t pick it back up? Instead just watch as it tumbles down. Further and further into the rabbit hole. Do you recall the sinking feeling that shocks your gut as you watch it sail deeper into the fog and abyss? The memories would fade, as well as the faces within those captured moments, but the feelings would forever be locked in our consciousness because of what we lost. That’s what remembering is. Some of us can remember more.

Sometimes flashbacks hit me at the most bizarre and inappropriate moments. Usually, while I’m driving on the freeway, radio blasting, around 85. These flashbacks can be good or bad depending on my mood, but they almost always involve something or someone who I’ve lost and will never get back. Maybe you’ve felt a familiar feeling when you think of somebody who passed away. Or maybe you remember what you wanted to spend the rest of your life doing but instead got stuck in a 9-5 cubicle. A taste of copper bitterness and pain lingers in your mouth. It can happen to the best of us. Breathe. Everything will be okay. But ask yourself, why do these flashes continue to plague you?

Simple.

TO REMIND US.

That every day is not promised and neither are the people who enter our lives. We must make the most of our opportunities. We must fill even the smallest moments with magic. AbraFUCKINGcadabra, LOVE! Even darkness has light. Even the ugly is stunning. You just have to open your eyes to see it. Look down into your palms and see everything you’ve ever loved. Now, look up into reality. How much do you have and who is by your side? Whoever is real, you better salvage that forge. Cement the bonds and keep your beloved supporter uplifted in your life. Raise your dreams that are not as far as you imagined. Raise them higher, until your muscles strain, until you think you’ll break, but then right before you do, you remember…

This is what I love most in life. I shall NEVER give up, neither will I forget them. 

So don’t.

The flashback hit me and I saw the pain that one day long ago might have made me cry. Then I remembered, today I was stronger, and my life was infinitely better. Today I remembered that tomorrow is not promised. Today will be the best day ever starting in my mind, circulating within my heart, and manifesting in every single action I take.  My life was meant to be a collection of outreached hands uplifting everything I had every love. 

Today is going to be the best day ever, thank God I remembered.

xoxox

Lindsay Reva

red and white manicure with love print
Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

 

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