I Miss It

Have you ever been to Japan when the Cherry Blossoms are blooming? What about Bora Bora, meditating in the Blue Lagoons? Have you ever been so alone that you finally find yourself?

I have. All three, I’ve felt and seen, tasted with every single one of my senses and I must say, they are delicious. My memory still taps into when I stood beneath the Sakura tree and stared up into the sky while the white and pink silk petals settled. Around me, on me, deep inside of me they fell. Keep it coming, honey. Reminding me of how lovely things can come in all directions when you least expect it. Do you remember the absolute thrill that comes with anything of brilliance? Its effect is deafening. I was certainly sad when I stood underneath that tree. I wasn’t lost, but I certainly had no direction, very little purpose. Shell-like in all my minds finery; an ugly creature if you dug down deep. It didn’t matter that I was already as deep as you can go what mattered is that I could see the beauty in a single petal falling down. Those bedazzled kits don’t have SH$% on nature. Can you see it?

Gifts are all around us. They spring from the ground up.

Have you been to Bora Bora? If you haven’t, keep dreaming. Eventually, you’ll get there. I would swim for hours and hours until my auntie started telling people I was half human, half fish. No auntie, I am half human, half wish. Soaked in sun, bathed in salt waters. Opening your eyes underwater because you HAVE to see what the rest of the world is missing. That must be the reason why I’m so blind, all those open-eyed Blue lagoons, baby. Magically floating like a dream come true…It’s yours, and you all alone. How lucky I have been to call a blue lagoon all my own. It’s not really mine of course, but one can certainly pretend when not even a chirp of a bird can interrupt you under the surface of the water. Solitude, wash me clean. The sweetest kiss a human being can give themselves is that first dip. My heart smiles when my mind takes me back. Dimples and all. Open waters, silence, peace in the air, never-ending horizon, here I am. But if there is only one thing I recommend while you swim and sink to the bottoms surface, running your fingers over the fine white sand, it’s not to forget the most important lesson in life;

Breathe. Go up, and take one, take another. Be greedy as hell. Breathe in your happiness. I dare you.

After you take that breath with Paradise draped on everything in sight; you better not forget to REMEMBER.

One day you’ll need it.


Lindsay Reva



Hunger Pang

She whispered into the neck of a lover and remembered that he belonged to another. In the morning when she woke, she pretended she was his only lifelong hunger, instead of a love tainted pretender.
He knocked on her door and before she answered he saw the life that he wished he had and knew he would never have, the one where she was his and only his, the one where she wasn’t everyone’s but truly only his. She opened the door, but it wasn’t her, it was his lady’s real lover, the one who heard her midnight whispers and fed her fleshly pangs of hunger.
Life looked down on the people and laughed at their misgivings, cried at their love tales, sang with the wind at their hunger pains, but life always knew that control wasn’t to be had, with human hearts involved, every second was changing; some would be up, others bad, majority would be left like a masters unseen painting.
Hope walked into the room and took the owner of the first set of eyes. She walked right up to him and kissed him straight on his lips. He would never forget her, and she would enter into his mouth, flow straight to his mind, mingle with his blood, and settle somewhere deep within his heart. Hope wasn’t one to be forgotten, one reason some loved her, and others did nothing but wish they never met her.
Cruelty clutched its victim in its claws and stared it down, down, down until it sank further into the ground, hope would always try to fight back, but some hadn’t yet been kissed, then he would have his way, and even then fate wouldn’t stand a chance. Cruelty was the real reason why most people tried to forget their past.
Things happen.
Lindsay Reva

Art of a Life

Oh how much I love…
Walking down the street as if no one can see me,
Driving in my car, pretending
That nothing in the world matters
Looking out the window
Wondering when everything will be mine
But in the meantime, I sit back and enjoy the ride
Cause I love this life
Art of a Life
To some it’s all a joke, but I have felt too much pain
To let it go to waste
So I sit back and enjoy the ride
Work my hardest
Love till my heart bleeds
Open my arms until my back is cut and bruised from the bastards
But I’ll eventually relax and enjoy the ride
After the work is all done, after I’ve gone past the farthest yard
Try not to break
And in-between it all I will sit back and try to relax
Oh how much I love…
The days when I wake up feeling beautiful
When I go to sleep feeling peaceful
And in-between it all, try not to remember
Try not to trip and fall
One step at a time, one pair of lips
Plum bruised chapstick
God, how much I love
My life
Freedom, to be anywhere, everywhere, and nowhere
I wonder if they know…
How much I love them
I love them all
Every single one of you
But in the meantime, I’ll just sit back and enjoy the ride
One single heartbeat at a time
Oh if only you could feel how much I love.
Lindsay Reva

Any Other Day

In this day, just like everyday, we all should make a contribution towards mankind through our heart, our soul, spirit, and especially through our word.

There is life and goodness within our words. We have the power to make others smile by syllables. We can bring people together with the right verbs. With the perfect sentence we can make people see their worth away from the doubts and skepticism that tend to cloud our vision of reality.

Today, you could make someone else’s day, and maybe in the process the sun will begin to shine brighter for you.


Lindsay Reva

I saw him walking from afar

The pier was old crooked and stained

But beyond that ragged wooded frame

The ocean was slick, like a wet open flame

Clouds opened up with sunlight shooting down to the depths

It made me think of heaven, it made me think of his lips

I made my way to the very end

There stood a man, tall and thin

I would have known him a thousand times

Even in darkness, in a different world, his mind was one of a kind

The end of the pier felt ruff and worn

Reminded me of an old soul who’s hands touched too many thorns

Yet never lose the love of a fresh cut rose

I could feel his eyes on me, I could even sense his pain

But I turned from the waves, far from his gaze,

When he called my name,

I never even bothered to look back




Some days you’ll be pushed to your limits. People will lead you to the very edge. Eyes will look directly into your own and exchange lies with you. Sometimes you will want to cry. Other times you’ll plot on the perfect way to disappear. For a time you will travel so far back, it’ll feel impossible to take even one step forward. To Cave will be your hearts verb of choice. Loneliness might be your best-friend.

Some days will be bad. Some, still worse.


You darling,

Are the shit & brilliantly amazing. So you better suck it up and act like it.


Lindsay Reva

Traffic Goals

I looked down into my palms and imagined holding everything I ever loved gently within my fingertips. Lovers faces meshed with the smell of roses, warmth mingled with melted chocolate, laughing at no cost caught between the arms of my beloved ones, my goals, and aspirations clutched at the collar by my dreams. I held them, they fit; perfect like a puzzle, and I was not weighed down. They remained in my hands at my own disposal.

But what if one day, one by one the things I loved and adored dropped from my grasps like an ordinary object fallen… What if I couldn’t pick it back up? Instead just watch as it tumbles down. Further and further into the rabbit hole. Do you recall the sinking feeling that shocks your gut as you watch it sail deeper into the fog and abyss? The memories would fade, as well as the faces within those captured moments, but the feelings would forever be locked in our consciousness because of what we lost. That’s what remembering is. Some of us can remember more.

Sometimes flashbacks hit me at the most bizarre and inappropriate moments. Usually, while I’m driving on the freeway, radio blasting, around 85. These flashbacks can be good or bad depending on my mood, but they almost always involve something or someone who I’ve lost and will never get back. Maybe you’ve felt a familiar feeling when you think of somebody who passed away. Or maybe you remember what you wanted to spend the rest of your life doing but instead got stuck in a 9-5 cubicle. A taste of copper bitterness and pain lingers in your mouth. It can happen to the best of us. Breathe. Everything will be okay. But ask yourself, why do these flashes continue to plague you?



That every day is not promised and neither are the people who enter our lives. We must make the most of our opportunities. We must fill even the smallest moments with magic. AbraFUCKINGcadabra, LOVE! Even darkness has light. Even the ugly is stunning. You just have to open your eyes to see it. Look down into your palms and see everything you’ve ever loved. Now, look up into reality. How much do you have and who is by your side? Whoever is real, you better salvage that forge. Cement the bonds and keep your beloved supporter uplifted in your life. Raise your dreams that are not as far as you imagined. Raise them higher, until your muscles strain, until you think you’ll break, but then right before you do, you remember…

This is what I love most in life. I shall NEVER give up, neither will I forget them. 

So don’t.

The flashback hit me and I saw the pain that one day long ago might have made me cry. Then I remembered, today I was stronger, and my life was infinitely better. Today I remembered that tomorrow is not promised. Today will be the best day ever starting in my mind, circulating within my heart, and manifesting in every single action I take.  My life was meant to be a collection of outreached hands uplifting everything I had every love. 

Today is going to be the best day ever, thank God I remembered.


Lindsay Reva

red and white manicure with love print
Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com



Atelophobia is defined as the fear of not doing something right or the fear of not being good enough. In other words, it’s a fear of imperfection. Etymologically, the word atelophobia is compised of two Greek words: the prefix Atelo(s) means imperfect and the post-fix phobia means fear


Word of the day, darling.


Lindsay Reva

bed of white petaled flowers
Photo by Irina Kostenich on Pexels.com

Callused Palms

Always work your hardest.

Not for them, not even for yourself, but for your other self.

The self that is finely wrinkled and no longer works. Instead that self has so much time that they only think about sprinkled moments with grandchildren, nature, but especially about past moments that had come and gone with the whimsical wink of an eye. Your older more mature self. Maybe your more tuned in to mahjong self.

Can you imagine the difference of contemplations between a person who sailed by on autopilot and someone who took their axe with all their bodies might and swings its blade deep into the layers of life’s wooden canvas? Termites had no chance.

Some people have a hard time thinking about what they want to do tomorrow. I have a hard time thinking about what I want for lunch. Yet wherever I go, I pride myself in always remembering to do what’s right, what’s good, and above all, that this is the only shot I’ve got in life. Don’t act like car accident don’t happen, stop pretending heart attack’s never hit.

Might as well make it a good run.

My blade is sharpened, my axe swung high. I won’t let you down future self, pinky promise. Please, for your future retired bored-out-of-your-mind self, do your damn best.


Lindsay Reva

Violin Eyes

Life is wonderful when you can look up into the sky and feel blessed no matter how much your heart hurts.

Like hearing a symphony for the first time. Remembering when you cried at a wedding. Feeling complete when you owned nothing. Being in your fathers arms when you were a child. Laying in a field of flowers. Warm chocolate chip cookies.

Things really aren’t that bad. All it takes is a little thought, and a lot of visions.

See the goodness my dear.


Lindsay Reva

What Did I Do With My Life?

Are you tired and weary because one thing pulled you away from your dreams and aspirations and for some reason you never let it stop tugging so that now on this very day, you can’t even remember what it is you wanted?

I feel you. That’s why I keep my guard up at every avenue. When someone asks me to help them I never forget that it is one thing to help someone, another to hurt oneself. When a job is offered sometimes I don’t even think twice about turning it down because I can see how far I would go, I would succeed(Doubt is POISON), and that it would take me very far away from my original plan. Why go far in a field that doesn’t set your heart on fire? And yes sometimes there is prestige that you must consider, other benefits. After all, life runs its course and some contacts can make it run to the path of the better. But after a lifetime spent under a boss you despise and a company you object, what are you left with when you look out onto the horizon in your golden years and sense that you have settled into a void of unaccomplished?

Will you say the words, what did I do with my life? Yuk…

In this life which is long and also so very short, I want a love that will make me feel complete, I want a job that makes my life fulfilled, I want to learn the things that excite my mind. I want and I shall have.

One day I sat down and thought everything was over. Life had no meaning, I was DONE. After I went through all that mental anguish and acceptance, one thing I did was look back through all of my memories and achievements. I saw as clear as a red sun rising high in a blue sky that I had lived a life for others. Through my failures, I saw that I fell in love with people who were no good for me. Made choices that had .01% of thought involved. I did for others as if my life depended on it. And so I was forgotten and a shell of a human being who had no real goals or guidance. I looked back on my life and actually said, What did I do with my life?

Yet it doesn’t have to be like that. I’m tired (the bags under my eyes are a clear indicator) and weary as hell but it makes me so unbelievably happy to know that I am one step closer to reaching the goal that in 70 years (yes one day I’ll be OAF) will make me say, damn girl, you killed it. 

Queens United, now we have to start thinking hard. Let the hunt begin, I’m out for the kill.


Lindsay Reva


Highway 395

Sitting in the car with her feet propped up against the backrest of the chair directly in front of her, she stared out the window to the fields and skies that raced by. The trees were magnificent. Electric flashes of orange at their tops, thickly molded and knobbed bottoms.  The mountains were monsters who kissed the clouds. Sienna orange swam past with streams of white, then blue, followed by the warmest brown that only comes with nature sans Mankind. She smiled at the scene remembering when she was younger; how the great expanse of American Land use to make her feel small. Now it just made her feel pure. She wanted more and so she closed her eyes. Her belief did the rest.

As slow as possible her eyelashes bloomed into open eyes and she felt the wind coming at her like a cold storm. Chills clenched her entire body.  A smile lit her face that would have been envied even by the Cherubs in Heaven. She rose. Higher and higher, unbelievably heights until she flew up into the white masses that littered the vast blue. She spun and twirled, laughing as if she were still twelve and unafraid of all consequences. She did not fall or sink. Still, she rose.

Her laugh could be heard all throughout the lands if only people were around. She gave a final burst and felt the energy consume her whole, becoming nothing but light, energy, velocity. If she wanted to she could have taken her momentum and power and balled it up into a magnum fire, throwing it down to raze the lands below. She could have looked to the east or west and cut the mountains in quarters with the point of a finger. Her soft almond eyes could have desecrated and formed craters. But she was not evil. With her energy, she only smiled more and released slowly until she stopped in a field of Mackarel clouds lazily in the sky, stretching; full and complete.

How lucky I am to be alive, she whispered into the thin air.

She sank. Faster and faster. Right before she touched the valley of weeds and grass she pulled her self up and soared into a speed that went passed Mach. Up and down throughout the mountains listening to their pains and flaws. Her fingers lightly brushed against the tips of grains. Her feet ran swiftly over white gushing rivers and fluorescently green tepid streams. She spun in the sunlight like an angel who had no control except to create goodness.

Wild pumped in and out of her heart and when she took one deep breath she could hear the way the world worked and how one thing needed the other and the other needed another. Everything sank into her mind like roots deep in a thousand-year-old soil. Her eyes never closed, and her senses never ignored their true purpose. She inhales, she believed, and she felt.

Up and up like the Queen of the Clouds, she rose one last time and closed her eyes forcefully knowing she was about to do what she regretted every time. I must go back…and be like them.

The song playing on the radio in her mothers’ white van was Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones. She opened her eyes as if she were bored and looked to her right again out the window at the landscape that passed by. Mountains dipped and rose, valleys continued forever, rivers danced, clouds changed, and she sat in her seat remembering how wonderful it felt when you were truly free.


Lindsay Reva


Little Fishy Called Life

Look up into the sky and see how everything you ever wanted lay right behind the line of trees. Feel the sun when it sends you a secret message on where that path begins and ends. Listen to the birds, smell the earth, open your mind to everything that could be yours if only you gave it a chance. Stop being afraid. Cowards’ blood was neither in your mothers nor fathers DNA. Do you think someone as magnificent as you were meant to feel the tolls of fear? No darling.

You were born to be a master of your own destiny. The sun already told you; you must shine. Your heart strikes perfectly to God’s metronome. When I listen closely, I hear it boldly.

Up the stream, down the stream. Life is your choosing. So choose wisely, little fishy.



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