Someone asked me how I felt.
I wanted to cry because it had been so long since I thought about my hardest days, the days that should never be forgotten because those were the days which made me stronger.
I wanted to laugh because I knew he probably didn’t care, he’d be gone in the morning.
I wanted to ball my fist up because I knew all it took was the stroke of his finger on my cheek and I would want him to stay forever.
I wanted to smile because at this moment, even in its simplicity, was one of my finest. The night wasn’t over.
I wanted to dance because I was young and my body was electric.
I wanted to sing because I could never have imagined how much happiness my heart would be filled with after I accomplished what no one expected of me.
I wanted to take a deep breath. Even though I had come this far, I still had centuries to walk through. My path only gets steeper.
I wanted to say a prayer, not because I was scared. I was blessed and if I had the audacity to pray in my pains, I must pray after my pleasures.
I wanted to cry again. Why did I deserve so much goodness?
I wanted to blow it all away. Everything around me was a restriction and needed some form of effort, but I was free, honey.
I wanted to look him in the eyes until I was sure he felt shook. Revenge for what his voice did to me.
I wanted to sleep. The memories couldn’t touch me in my dreams.
I wanted to leave him, he had too much of a hold on me.
I wanted to tell him everything from start to finish, until he ran away. My story only got worse.
I wanted to love. That’s the only thing I’ve been good at.
But instead, I replied,
I feel everything.