His eyes made me feel.
Under his gaze, I felt everything and yet couldn’t connect anything. Excitement wanted to know why I felt scared. Hurt wanted to know how I could have felt loved. Madness wanted to know why I felt so lovely. They made me feel, but that was just what happened when I looked into his eyes.
Like a rose in Harlem, grown from the concrete. Like looking up on the clearest night and seeing 14,000 constellations at once. When I look into his eyes I can see his dreams, dreams which meant so much more than me. When I look deeper I see his fears, his lies, and his pains for telling so many lies. When I look in his eyes and see myself in the reflection, I see forgiveness. In his eyes, I can see his trust but I also see a paper thin veil that makes him hold back.
When he looks at me I only see his eyes. When he stares too long I can feel vibrations under my feet as if the earth is trying to send me signals. Sometimes they feel so strong I look to the plants to see if I heard correctly. The vibrations started small until I feel warm. The warmth barely last. Like a small flick of a match turned to walls licked by flames. When his eyes left me, I felt like a fleck of ash floating in the breeze hoping I’ll drift away to the sea.
Away. His eyes were beautiful because they took me so far away. To a world where nothing matters except the way his glance hit me. A tornado in the ocean, ripples turn to tidal waves. His eyes would take me further until the path was no more styles and manicured, but curved into a wilderness of his reality and ego. The deepest I’ve gone in his gaze, the more savaged and uncut the garden.
His eyes are beautiful. When I look into them, I see the most glorious blossoms. Tiares that smell of heaven. Orange and purple Hibiscus, Birds of Paradise taller than trees, roses taller than buildings. I see something that I thought I would never see.
When he closes his eyes, I want nothing more than to kiss each eyelash.
But I don’t.
Instead, I blink away my fantasies and wonder what he sees when he looks into my eyes.
xoxox,
Lindsay Reva.
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