It’s so hard trying to please everyone. The more I try, the more dimmed my vision gets when I look into the mirror. I use to see light shining my eyes. Sometimes I use to joke with my friends and tell them that my soul was rose gold. But every jokes has a dash of truth, and that’s how I feel sometimes. I look up at the sun and my soul speaks the same language. I look into the moon’s many eyes and wink right on back. I walk around feeling like a princess because I feel GOOD, I feel SPECIAL, I feel as if I AM exactly who I was meant to be. I AM FREE.
But not everyone feels the same. Someone I love called me spoiled. This same person also tells me that I’m living in a fairy-tale sometimes like I shouldn’t have the most perfect day every day. Immediately upon hearing this my love shrank back in disgust and felt the fierce sensation that she ought to sink her claws into the said acquaintance. But I’m a good girl. And instead of bringing blood to the table I bought the ultimatum. If you don’t want a queen, go find yourself a pawn. In other words, who the hell are you? DEUCES.
But the damage had been done because my easily influential conscious picked up the words and in the night when I was alone her seedy little voice started to whisper in my ear. Who do you think you are? Give up. What do you have that they don’t? Give up. Why do you always want more? Give up. What do you think will happen if you fail? Again. Give up.
Is it me or is it impossible to stay on cloud nine all of the time… The only person I know who is happy 100% of the time is my grandfather, Captain Mac. I don’t know how he does it. He’s so JOLLY… all the time. It’s beautiful and people gravitate to him like my fingers to chocolate. So I went to search for my grandfather’s golden aura at church one lovely Sunday afternoon. After the priest had given his sermon and the flock filed out of the large wooden doors, I sat with Captain Mac in the shade and asked him how he found his happiness. He looked at me like I was alien.
Honey, there’s no reason for us not to be happy. I have a beautiful family and I’ve had a life where I’ve accomplished everything I set my mind on. Everything I wanted I got. Maybe I’m just a lucky son of a gun but I worked hard for everything in my life and because I did something, instead of nothing look at the legacy I have…there is no regret when you try to be better, to be good. And honey, you’re great. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
I left my grandparents at church and went on my way, walking with my head higher than I had come. Why are we letting negative people influence our lives? Lets get the hell away from them. If you feel beautiful it’s because you are beautiful. If you don’t feel beautiful, it’s because your mind picked up the wrong frequency. We need to believe in ourselves and focus on the people that can make you a better person. If someone is telling you that your not as good as you think you are… Ladies, leave em in the dust. Fellas, go to the next swipe. You are bad. You are great. One day you will do amazing things but if you surround yourself with people who don’t believe in you, their influence might seep into your life. It’s a disease and you don’t want to get infected.
Do your friends love you? Do they want you to succeed? If your unsure about answering those questions then why are you even calling them your friends? There’s nothing wrong with feeling like a QUEEN!!! There’s nothing wrong with wanting the world and a plate of chocolate chip cookies as well!!!!! Nothing wrong at all. What’s wrong is the stankness of their breath when the Killjoys open their mouth.
So Please, my lovely. When you need someone make sure they’re the right person, but when they need you… You better be that Queen and pass them over a bottle of dazzled sunlight.